That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles
by Red Witch
Summary: A fun Brotherhood fic celebrating one of my favorite snacks.


**I don't own X-Men or anything else. Just another crazy thought in my head that needed to get out. **

**That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles**

"You are so wrong it isn't even funny!" Fred shouted.

"Oh please!" Pietro spat. "You just have no idea what you are talking about!"

"You're the ones who don't have a clue!" Todd piped up.

"You tell 'em buddy!" Fred said.

"Tell us what?" Lance looked at them. "How you morons have no taste whatsoever?"

"Oh yeah?" Todd snarled and leapt onto Lance. "BANZAI!" 

"Get off me!" Lance snapped as he struggled to escape Todd's grasp. 

"Ha ha! Not so powerful are ya!" Todd laughed as he gripped Lance in a headlock. 

"AAGGGHH!" Lance whined. "THE SMELL! THE SMELL!" 

"Hang on Lance, I'll get him!" Pietro was about to come to his aid when he found himself lifted off the floor. 

Fred smirked as he held onto Pietro by the shirt collar. "You were saying?" 

"PUT HIM DOWN!" Mystique stormed into the room with Wanda behind her. "Toad get off of Lance! What happened this time?"

"We were just… talking," Todd flinched. 

"We just had some…different opinions on stuff," Lance said. 

"Okay," Mystique sighed. "What important topic are you debating **this** time? Which Pro Wrestler is the greatest fighter of all time? Which color the new M&M should be? What?" 

They looked at each other. "I'm waiting," She said dangerously.

"Okay Boss Lady, which is better? Chocolate Oreos or Classic?" Fred said. 

"What?" She looked at them.

"Freddy and I say that chocolate Oreos are the best but those two lunkheads here think that the classic taste is better," Todd said. 

"Well excuse us for upholding tradition!" Pietro snapped. 

"Yeah nothing's better than classic Oreos!" Lance said. 

"You guys are ready to kill each other over Oreos?" Wanda looked at them. Then she looked at Mystique. "And you stopped them?"

"I had a momentary lapse of insanity," Mystique groaned. 

"Look classic Oreos are perfect, plain and simple," Pietro said. "We're talking about upholding tradition!" 

"I'm talking about progress here!" Fred said emphatically. "Chocolate Oreos are the greatest invention to happen to food since peanut butter met jelly!" 

"Hey now they make 'em with peanut butter and jelly!" Todd said.

"Make what?" Lance asked.

"Oreos, peanut butter and jelly Oreos," Todd told him. 

"Now that is just plain heresy!" Pietro sniffed. 

"You people are idiots you know that," Wanda huffed. "All of you! Even you Mystique!" 

"Watch it girl!" Mystique snarled. "Who do you think you are calling me and idiot?"

"Hey if you're so smart how come you couldn't find better henchmen than these bozos?" Wanda snapped. 

Mystique was about to respond when something overcame her. She took a look at the Brotherhood. "I hate to admit it, but you do have a point there." 

"Can we get back to what's important?" Pietro said impatiently. "Classic Vanilla!" 

"Chocolate!" Fred shouted.

"Vanilla!" Pietro and Lance shouted.

"Chocolate!" Todd and Fred shouted. 

"All right! All right! All right already!" Mystique threw up her hands. "We are going to settle this right now so we can have some peace and quiet! Wanda and I will taste test! Bring in the Oreos!" 

Pietro zoomed around and set up a table. There were two glasses of milk with two sets of cookies on plates. "Okay now ladies," Fred said. "You have to judge on taste as well as dunkability!" 

"What?" Wanda asked. 

"How well they taste when they're dunked in milk yo," Todd explained. 

"Hmmm," Mystique bit into one. "I'd forgotten how good these were! Oh these are great! Let me try the chocolate one now! Oh this is heaven!"

"I like the chocolate better," Wanda said.

"Are you crazy?" Pietro spat. Wanda used her powers to throw a ski at him. He barely dodged it and it hit the wall. "Uh…then again there is something to be said for progress."

"What about it Mystique?" Lance asked. "Mystique?" 

She was trying to sneak upstairs with the cookies. "Um, why don't you kids go outside or something. I need to do more research on this!"

"She's stealing our cookies!" Fred shouted. 

"Get her!" Wanda shouted. 

"Now wait a minute," Mystique backed away. "I'm the boss here! You do what I tell you to do!"

"Except when it comes to cookies!" Lance told her. "Now just put them down and nobody gets hurt!" 

"Oh no," Mystique gulped. "These are my cookies! Mine!" She looked at Wanda. "Wanda, Wanda join me and we can have all the cookies together! What do you say?"

"Normally I'd say it was a deal but since I believe you'd swipe 'em all for yourself, no chance lady!" Wanda snapped. "GET HER!" 

"AGGGGH!" Mystique screamed trying to run away. They all pounced on her. Soon it was a free for all for the cookies, with everyone fighting, trying to eat them all. 

"Raven," Agatha walked in the door. "Raven I've thought about it and maybe I should stay and…" She saw the scene in the living room. "Never mind," She walked back out again, never to return. 


End file.
